Joe Auricchio

I don’t do computers! I took CSE 3. I know where the on button is!

Sheree

<rushi> the long-term health risks of alcohol: cirrhosis of the liver.
<rushi> the long-term health risks of smoking: you name it.
<rushi> in fact, i bet you can get cirrhosis from smoking.

As it turns out, you can.

A twist on Chief Joseph:
From where the sun now stands, I will take no more shit forever

To be said at the beginning of a war, rather than the end.

It’s a very Penny Arcade style of humor. It may have been partly inspired by a Family Guy segment involving Jesus and Chris Tucker in a buddy-cop movie: “Let he who is without sin kick the first ass.”

You heard it here first.

Improbable License Plates, type #4: Faraway islands nobody actually lives on.

Teresa has a loft bed. The frame is above my eye level but below head level. I’ve hit my head on it about a dozen times. I’ve been lucky so far: each time I was already ducking, but not far enough, so I’ve only grazed it. One of these days I’m bound to hit it squarely and get a good concussion.

Last time I hit my head, she suggested I put a post-it note on the edge, so I’d be reminded to duck. Since I always carry a pack of post-its and a pen, I whipped them out and made a warning sign for myself:

           watch

          out

          joe
                      

Reflecting upon its asymmetry, I said, “Hmm, it doesn’t seem to be very centered.”

Teresa took the post-it and added to the top and bottom:

  <center>

  </center>

Isn’t she wonderful?

Update! About a minute ago, I was sitting on the floor under Teresa’s bed. I stood up rapidly and hit the frame squarely with the top of my head. It hurt. A lot. Ow.